Summary: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson

 The Book In Three Sentences

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive use of your time and energy. This is true because there are problems associated with it in every life and finding meaning in your life will help you to maintain the efforts required to overcome the particular problems that are in front of you. Thus, we can say that the key to living a good life is not giving a crap about more things, but just giving a crap about the things that align with your personal values.

The Subtle art of Not giving a f *ck summary

Summary: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson
Summary: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson

This is a subtle book by Mark Manson. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the book as well as my own thoughts. This summary also contains key lessons and important excerpts from the book.

  • Traditional self-help advice asks you to imagine success and think about the type of person you want to just reinforce the idea that you are not that thing.
  • Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is a good job or a better car or an ex-girlfriend.
  • The key to a good life is not giving a shit about more; It is only correct and immediate and important, giving a F*ck about the lesser.
  • We are no longer facing a material crisis. We have a lot of resources: TVs and clothes and accessories that we don't need. The problem we are facing is existential and spiritual. We have so much stuff and so many opportunities that we don't know what to do now.
  • Because there are infinite things that we can now see or know, there are also infinite ways by which we can find out that we do not measure, that we are not very good, those things are not as great as they are. It is possible.
  • The desire for a more positive experience is in itself a negative experience. And, ironically, accepting one's negative experience is in itself a positive experience.
  • Fulfillment of something only confirms that you have a shortage in the first place.
  • The greatest thing you can do for your happiness is to consider your life experience as great and amazing.

"If you want to be happy, you will never be happy. If you are looking for the meaning of life then you will never live. " -Albert Camus

  • Everything meaningful in life is won through attaining a related negative experience.
  • If you are not able to give a shit about the pain your goals require, you become invincible.
  • The moments in which we do not buckle up and take action are often moments that define the course of our lives.
  • You are going to die someday. Everyone knows that you are going to die soon. And in your short life, you only have to do a certain amount of fucking.
  • Learning how to focus and prioritize your ideas effectively is based on personally respected personal values, perhaps the biggest and important struggle of life.
  • Subtlety# 1: Not giving a shit is not about being indifferent. This means that you are comfortable with being different. Don't say that fuck it up everything in life, just for unimportant things.
  • Subtlety # 2: To not give a shit about adversity, you must first be mindful of something more important than adversity.
  • Subtlety # 3: Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to fuck about. The key is to gently prick the things you care about so that you only give a shit on the most important occasions.
  • When a person has no problem, the mind automatically finds a way to invent something.
  • I think most people - especially educated, middle-class blondes - consider "life problems" to have some side effects of not really being more important to worry about.
  • Finding something important and meaningful in your life is probably the most productive use of your time and energy.
  • It's okay to suck things up for some time.
  • Practical knowledge is the act of becoming comfortable with the idea that some sufferings are always unavoidable.
  • Grief has no value when done without purpose.
  • Do not expect a life without problems. Let's hope for a life with good problems.
  • The problems never stop. They are only exchanged or advanced.
  • Happiness is found in solving problems, not in avoiding them.
  • True happiness comes only when you discover problems that you enjoy and enjoy solving.
  • Happiness is a problem for you and wants to solve them.
  • Emotions are just biological signals designed to propel you towards beneficial change.
  • Negative emotions are a sign that something untoward is happening. They are a call to action. Positive emotions are rewards for taking the right action.
  • We should question our feelings because they are not always right.
  • Do not ask yourself what you want from life. Want success and fame and happiness and fantastic sex. Everyone wants those things. A more interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of pain do I need?" What you are ready to fight for is more determinative of how our life should be.
  • You can't just fall in love with the result. Everyone loves the result. You have to love the process.
  • Climbing to the top is a never-ending upward spiral in which new problems are always exposed and new processes that you should love. You are not allowed to stop climbing because the whole point is to love climbing. If you ever stop loving climbing, the results will never come.
  • Self-esteem is, in itself, overlapping. Unless you have a good reason to feel this way, it doesn't help to feel good about yourself. Conflict makes self-esteem useful, not for participation trophies.
  • Your problems are not privileged in their severity or suffering. You are not unique in your suffering.
  • The more we are opposed to the viewpoint, the more we are getting upset that other perspectives exist. This seems like a logical trend to me because before the Internet and our hyper-connected modern world, people are not more likely to run into ideas that disagree with their own. Today, alternative ideas are more likely to cross your radar screen.
  • Most of us are average at most things we are doing. Even if you are exceptional at one thing, chances are you are average or below average in other things.
  • Our life today is filled with information from the climax of the bell curve of human experience. The best, the worst, the worst, and the most annoying. We only see the most extraordinary news because it increases revenue. This is a real problem when compared because you can be exceptional in only one thing and you are going to be below average in almost everything. This makes for a very dangerous game to play in comparison.
  • The problem is that the prevalence of technology and mass marketing is undermining a lot of people's own expectations.
  • The most comprehensive statement about masculinity in our culture is that the most valuable thing a person can achieve is sex and sacrificing almost anything to get it. (Interestingly, this corresponds to one of the leading female narratives, which is that the biggest thing a woman can be is beautiful.)
  • People who are exceptional tend to think that they are average and are focused on improvement. You are not exceptional assuming that you are extraordinary.
  • The more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true.
  • Problems are unavoidable, but what they mean is flexible. We get to control how our problems are based on how we choose to think about them and how we measure them. The way we measure success, we look at the problems we face.
  • "Happiness is a false god. Research shows that people who focus their energies on superficial pleasures are more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Happiness is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore it is the easiest to achieve and the easiest to lose. "
  • People who base their self-ground to be right about everything, keep themselves from learning from their mistakes.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." -Sigmund Fried
  • People who think of themselves as others are genuinely terrified of all the negative things they reflect back on themselves.
  • When we feel that we are choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel oppressed and unhappy.
  • We do not always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. 
  • Accepting responsibility for our problems is the first step to solving them.
  • Many people hesitate to take responsibility for their problems because they believe that being responsible for your problems is also wrong for your problems. it is not true. We are responsible for experiences that are not our fault all the time. It is a part of life.
  • People will often fight over who is responsible for success and happiness. But taking responsibility for our problems is far more important because where does this real education come from.
  • Development is an endless process. When we learn something new, we are not "right" from "wrong". Rather, we go from wrong to less wrong. We do not need to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, rather, we should try to overcome the ways we are wrong today so that we may be slightly less wrong tomorrow.
  • Certainty is the enemy of development.
  • All beliefs are wrong - some are less wrong than others.
  • Counterintelligence insights about evil by Banister: Some of the worst offenders often felt good about themselves. Low self-esteem was not always associated with bad acts.
  • The more you try to be certain about a particular issue, the more uncertain and insecure you feel.
  • The more you are becoming uncertain and do not know, the more comfortable you will feel knowing what you do not know.
  • The man who believes he knows everything learns nothing.
  • Manson of Laws of Award: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. The more you look at yourself, the greater the danger, the more you will avoid doing it.
  • If I think I am a good guy, I will avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I feel that I am a terrible cook, I will seek opportunities to prove myself again and again. Faith always takes precedence.
  • Manson's idea of ​​"killing himself" is similar to Paul Graham's idea of ​​"keep your identity small." The central point is that if you are not identified for security, the change becomes very easy.
  • For any change to happen in your life, you should accept that you were wrong about something you were doing earlier.
"It is a sign of an educated mind capable of entertaining an idea without accepting it." -Aristotle
  • If it seems that you are against the world, then chances are it is really you versus yourself.
  • The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times you have failed in that thing.
  • Goals are limited in the amount of happiness we provide in our lives because they are finite. Once you achieve the goal, it can no longer provide happiness as the finish line is crossed. Ironically, then by choosing processes as your focus, you can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the process, not the goal. Processes never cease, meaning that happiness can continue indefinitely.
  • Action is not just an effect of motivation; The reason for this is also to do something and inspiration will follow.
  • How do you write a ton of books? Write "200 lewd words per day" and you'll find that inspiration often comes out of you.
  • Manson's "do something" theory sounds like the philosophy behind the 2-minute rule. Now do something, even if it's really small, and cascade good works as a result.
  • To truly appreciate something, you have to limit yourself to it. There is a certain level of joy and meaning that you reach in life only if you have spent decades investing in the same relationship, the same craft, a single career. And you can't get those decades of investment without dismissing the options.
  • The sign of an unhealthy relationship is when two people try to solve each other's problems so that they feel good about themselves.
  • Trust is the most important component in any relationship for the simple reason that without trust nothing really means anything.
  • Investing deeply into a person, a place, a job, an activity can deprive us of the breadth of experience we love, but pursuing the depth of experience allows us to enjoy the rewards of the depth of experience that Denies opportunity.
  • Commitment, in its own way, provides a wealth of opportunities and experiences that will never be available to you, no matter what surface level you experience.
  • The rejection of choices frees us. In a strange way, commitment to one thing provides more freedom than anything because it relieves you from guessing about what else is out there.
  • If there is no reason to do anything, if life is meaningless, then there is no reason to do nothing. What do you have to lose You are going to die anyway, so your fear and embarrassment and failure have no meaning. You can also try.
  • All meanings in our lives are shaped by our innate desire to never really die. Our physical bodies will die, but we cling to the idea that we can live through religion, politics, sports, art, and technological innovation.
  • The only way to get comfortable with death is to think of yourself as something bigger and see it as something to contribute to a larger entity.
  • It is the act of choosing and living by your values ​​that makes you great, not an outcome or achievement.
"We're all about to die, all of us. What a circus! Alone we should love each other, but it's not. -Charles Bukowski.

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